Most of the time I am a fairly laid back, rational person with no qualms, no scores to settle and no problems with the world around me. I've always tried to live a peaceful, happy life, but there has arisen an unavoidable, disruptive force which illicits a drastic behavioural change in me - not unlike a psychotic break.
Everybody has their trigger. For Hitler it was Jews, for Voldemort, muggles, for pigs, truffles, but for me, the thing that metamorphis's me into a rage filled monster is Shopping Centres.
This is, as I see it, not entirely irrational. Shopping centres are, after all, designed by evil capitalists who value revenue over morality and environmental responsibility. They bombard us with advertising on every billboard, bus stop, train station, trash receptical, website, water-bottle, newspaper, TV show/movie. Some companies have even started planting actors in public places, using them to plug their product in casual conversation. We flock to shopping centres like zombies flock to a group of quivering survivors, drawn by the promise of satisfaction, but inevitably left wanting more.
My solution? Blinkers. The driving force of consumerism is advertising. Shopping centres are designed to confuse us, disorient us so that we end up running around in circles, desperately buying things in the hope that if we buy enough things, the vicious cycle will break.
Don't play the game, invest in a pair of custom, fitted horse blinkers and never worry about being brainwashed by advertising again. Guaranteed results. The first 10 customers will receive a complimentary bit and genuine leather whip.
My solution? Blinkers. The driving force of consumerism is advertising. Shopping centres are designed to confuse us, disorient us so that we end up running around in circles, desperately buying things in the hope that if we buy enough things, the vicious cycle will break.
Don't play the game, invest in a pair of custom, fitted horse blinkers and never worry about being brainwashed by advertising again. Guaranteed results. The first 10 customers will receive a complimentary bit and genuine leather whip.
K
